Broken Hearted

Finally... The day that i always avoid is come, the day that i never expected, the day that i have to let go of Ben.
And as i've been estimated before, it will be hard. Very hard...
But thank God, i am surrounded by a lot of people that care about me a lot.
At last, i have to make a choise. A very difficult choice.
I have to choose between Ben and Ade.
Ade is a new guy in my life, he's a friend of my friend.
We're not spent so much time before we decided to try having a relationship.
And honestly i have no clue about him, but i just want to try.
He's quite nice and i feel comfort when i'm with him.
Although yes, he's not as good as Ben. And no one can compare his kindness.
But however, i have to move on. I cannot preserve my relationship with Ben because it is never real.
And will never be real. Although my feel with him is the most real feeling i ever felt.
Living a couple days without him, it's feel like something missing.
It's feel so hard to breath, my chest feel so stuffy.
And i can't hold my self to write a message to him through YM, just want him to know that i miss him so much.
And i'm very sure that he has the same feeling like i do.
Ben, if you knew ... And i'm sure you knew that the time i've been spent with you is the most precious time in my life.
I will miss our conversation, our argument, i'm gonna miss your advice and your support as well.
I'm gonna miss everything about you, and i hope God will give me strength to get through it and to live my life without you like before.
I love you Ben, and will always love you...